Never shake a baby- especially a full one.

Okay, we all know it isn't safe to shake a baby. Or any child for that matter. But, I can't resist holding mine over my head and looking up at that smiling little face. Drool dripping from above like syrup from a pancake. And it is just so hysterical when they laugh as you throw them up into the air and catch them on their way down. They lose their breath, they catch it, you laugh, they laugh, it's all fun and games until someone gets thrown up on. In this case it was my head, face, neck, and shirt. I knew better. I always have. I fuss at my husband when he jiggles her around and rough houses with her. "Stop that you'll make her sick." "Don't do that or you'll be sorry," I say. But never once has he ever been thrown up on. So, against my better judgement, I played that silly little game tonight. Long enough, I thought, after dinner to keep the dinner down. BUT, much to my surprise, dinner did not stay down. Nope. Dinner threw itself all over the side of my face. Splat! On about the third toss I was tossed upon. And so delightful, too, that I shall add the matching photos to the post. ENJOY! And remember, never shake a baby!

~Anything but Alone~

AGGHHH! It's been over a month since I posted anything and time is getting away from me. No-one is waiting on me though, I don't think. I don't have any followers. I basically just do this for my girls. A sort of legacy or keepsake if you will. I always seem to intend to get to the computer to write SOmEthiNG but I always find other things to do like laundry or the dishes. But I am now making the time. Or should I say, time is making ME! I am up at the wee hour of 3am this morning with a chest cold. My colds always seem to find comfort in my lungs! Never in my sinuses like most normal Southernors. Maybe because it is dark in there and the virus likes to be left in privacy while it multiplies and takes up homestead in my breathing apparatus!!
Lila~Kate is sound asleep right now and Johnna is also in dreamland. NOT the case for the past month and a half. About eight weeks ago the baby began this (unbeknownst to me it would last almost two months before it got better!) terrible waking pattern when she was supposed to be resting that angelic little head. Little did I know it was the start of something around here that would become the topic of my daily conversation with my mother-in-love, mom, best friend, or anyone else who could direct me in the path of some quiet nights. I have, for the most part, let her fall asleep on her own in her bed. Not because I mind getting her to sleep, it's just that when you have two kids it is harder to do with the second child the same that you did with the first. Johnna still sleeps with us. Many of you who read this will scoff at this, but it works for us and we don't mind. If there was room Lila~Kate would be in there too. It just simply isn't safe for her with a large, crocodile wrangling pre-schooler in the same bed! That is another subject in itself, maybe a different paragraph if I have time. If not, definitely another post then!
Anyway, like I was saying, she started waking up about thirty minutes or so after falling asleep... I have always swaddled her so I tried leaving both arms out. No help. I tried not swaddling... No help. I tried keeping her up later and then also getting her up earlier. Nothing. Every night all through the night she would wake up crying and not getting herself back to sleep. I kept thinking of things it could be. She is a finger sucker-- "Maybe her fingers are falling out of her mouth and it is making her mad?" So I put her down with her paci. Nope!! "Maybe she needs a little something else to eat before bed other than her milk." Tried cereal for the first time from a spoon and let me just say, I didn't think she was EVER gonna poop again. That made it so much worse. So after a day or two of trying to ''unstop'' her we were back to the initial problem of no sleep. My mother-in-love would go over things everyday to try to figure out what it could be and what we could try. She is breast fed so I fed her a bottle one night that I had pumped just so I could see how much she was getting and she was getting enough for her age and weight. Besides, when she woke up she wasn't hungry. I bought teething tablets, teething rings, rubbed her gums and gave her tylenol. All to no avail. I am not exaggerating when I tell you I tried EVERYTHING I could think of. Baths before bed and keeping her on a schedule all keep things from being any worse but did not make it any better. I had almost given up and entertained the thought of moving myself and her into Johnna's bed to set up shop through these long and sleepless nights. Until, on May 22nd, I saw a little something peeping from her bottom gum.... Popping right out at me was a brand new pearly white! So freakin' cute I might add. And that night, well, let's just say SHE got the answer to my prayer. A restful night's sleep. I , on the other hand, am still suffering from insomnia. Maybe from getting up and down so many times with her. I don't know. But it is making me crazy! It'll get better, right? My sleeping, I mean. Not life.. Life is great and let me tell you, if I ended up having to sleep with her, , well, , I'll just say that wouldn't be the end of the world for me.. It might just be the start of a beautiful relationship! ;) I miss having that tiny little body snuggled in close to me.
To me, co-sleeping I'll call it, is almost as natural as breast feeding. I know where my baby is, if she's still breathing, and I can almost immediately calm her before she even knows she's unsettled. Some people will disagree with me here, but this is my parenting ''style'' and you have a right to your opinion. Isn't my duty as a mother to calm my baby when she is upset? When they cry, they aren't just crying for no reason. A crying baby is asking for something; Whether it bed food, comfort, or a cuddle, they are asking for something. And we have babies to feed, comfort, and care for them. Not to put them on a strict schedule that meets our needs and put them to the side and tell them to behave. That is more like having a pet, don't you think? That's just what it is, an opinion, not a fact. There have been studies on this and that and the other, people against co-sleeping say it increases the risk of SIDS, while advocates for it and even some who aren't on either side of the fence say it reduces SIDS. (Only for the baby whose mother does not smoke, consume alcohol, or who is not on any mind-altering medication. A mother like me, who wakes at the drop of a pin, sleeps with one eye open, and NEVER changes position without changing the baby's position too would never roll over on her baby or let it fall between the wall and the bed. I never let Johnna sleep by the wall anyway.) If anyone actually reads my blog one day and sees this (somehow I feel this is the only part someone is going to read and comment on anyhow, ) I will probably get lots of nasty comments on how stupid I am and ''Don't you know better?" But that's ok. I know what worked for me and we all have the right to our own opinion... The only reason little Lila isn't in the bed with us is simply because I can't expect Johnna to give up her spot in the bed and I definitely DO NOT think it is safe to sleep with a baby in the bed when you have another a husband and child in the bed also. Especially when that child does acrobats in his/her sleep. So, as bad as it breaks my heart, Lila~Kate sleeps in her own bed. At least until Danny leaves for work in the morning and makes more room. Then I go and get my snuggle bunny and cuddle up next to her and my Johnna and breathe it all in.. This is the best sleep I get all night. Lying next to my two best girls. It is almost intoxicating. Lying there in bed knowing they are safe and warm gives me this out~of~this~world feeling. For that moment, all the world is right and I have everthing I have ever wanted and needed right there on each side of me. And THAT is something I will never forget. All the good night's sleep in the world isn't worth trading my couple hours in heaven with my little angels. Hearing them breathe in and out there in the dark is so calming. That does more for me than a sleeping remedy any doctor could prescribe. I look forward to it every early morning. One day, when my girls are gone and have husbands of their own, Danny and I will have a life time of nights and mornings together, but we will ALWAYS cherish the ones when we were anything but alone.

Our Easter

Easter 2009

This was Lila's first Easter and it was so nice. The whole weekend was sort of Easter for us. Fridays are one of Danny's days off so it all started there. We cleaned up the house as we always do on Fridays. (Yes I have a great husband.) Saturday was very busy. There was an Easter egg hunt at the church at 10:00am. I had planned to be ready 45 minutes before then even though the church is right down the road. That was the mistake I made. PLANNING. We get alot more done around here with no planning. I do better just winging it. I have promised myself not to make plans but I did and I still ended up like always, not making my own deadline. I was running WAY behind so Danny packed Johnna up and went on to the church as I finished feeding and burping the baby, changing her clothes and diaper. We finally made it to the church and the hunt was in full swing. Lots of kids there and lots of candy too-- thanks Billy Jordan and Holly Hulbert. Those two always know how to make the kids bounce off the walls. After that we went to visit an older couple from the church who have a farm. Johnna loves animals, especially horses, so this was a day in heaven for her. We had a wonderful time and rode the Kubota thingee for almost an hour. Lila fell asleep listening to the hum of the engine and feeling the wind on her. After that it was off to Katie's baby's first birthday party. Hannah Marie Dickerson was one year old on April 11th and her party was at Lum Cumbest Park. We saw some old friends and had a blast. It was wonderful spending time with the family and the weather was perfect. I am so thankful for my family and my friends. They are gifts from God and without them I would really be lost. I took some pictures ofthe girls in their Easter outfits beforehand because I knew the outfits wouldn't stay clean after Sunday. I will post a few. Well, the baby is in her Easter hat. We never made it to the clothes with Lila. She was being so sweet I decided not to make her unhappy pulling a ruffly dress over her pretty little head. But Johnna is in her Easter dress.

Holy 'Gigolos'

Haven't posted in a while, so alot to talk about. Lila Kate rolled over about a week ago. She rolled from her stomach to her back. Probably because she dislikes being on her stomach so much. She is trying to roll from her back to her stomach but hasn't quite mastered it. There's a link to the video here. http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=54638041Also, she has been pulling things to her face and opening her mouth at the same time. I am sure this is just a small glimpse of what is to come. She wants everything in her mouth I think, and when she gets the hand-mouth coordination down pat I believe we will be in big trouble. I don't remember Johnna ever putting anything in her mouth. She always wanted her paci. Lila, on the other hand, likes her fingers and is satisfied without a paci. Thus leading me to believe I am going to have to vacuum everyday and then get down with a fine toothed comb and magnifying glass after that.


Johnna is of course a hoot. She never ceases to cause severe cramping in my side from laughing so hard at her antics. I posted some video of her on myspace dancing and it is hilarious.http://http//vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=55038406 I awoke to her serenading me with the song "Holy, Holy, Holy is The Lamb" the other morning. Only her version went like this: "Holy, Holy, MOLEY,,,, Holy, Holy, MOLEY,,,, Holy, Holy, MOLEY is the Lamb." It is all so amazing to me how children hear and see things so literally. Oh life through the eyes of a child. Yesterday we were driving down Hurley-Wade Road and stopped at the stop sign before you pull out onto 614. There were like 5 buzzards pecking at a dead but still fresh raccoon. She saw this raccoon and said "We better not let him get us because he will VERY scratch us up." Another thing she said was about some Blue Bell Strawberry ice cream. Blue Bell Strawberry has huge strawberry chunks in it and she loves it. So I am sitting down watching T.V. and she comes to me and says"Mama, where are the dingle berries?" I, of course, have NO CLUE what she means. She says "The dingle berries. The red ones. I want some." After realizing she is getting no where trying to make me understand, she goes to Danny and asks him. Also, to no avail. After about three trips between the two of us wanting "Dingle berrries" she finally says, "Well, if you don't have any dingle berries just give me some gigolos." Yeah, you guessed it, I am literally on the floor laughing. She is mad b/c you DO NOT laugh at her. The only way I figure she came up with that word on her own is she made it up. Granny sent some jello home and she put it in the refrigerator. Jello jiggles. Jiggle-os. So if you kind of combine the two words you could possibly come up with 'gigolos' I guess. Maybe if you were three. . . .

I never really thought I would be able to love anyone as much as I loved my first baby. From the moment we met I was pushed over this , , this, , invisible time warp. A time where I changed from the self sufficient girl into this woman who needed this child with every fiber of her being. From the second we were separated and she no longer needed my body to stay alive, I was acutely aware of how much I needed HER to survive. Love like that could not possibly exist again. Yet here I am, looking at this precious baby, the sister to my first love, and those same feelings wash over me again. It seems so strange now to think back to the time just a few months ago, when I was pregnant and scared that I didn't have it in me to love like that again. Now I know that sounds selfish. And I always heard mothers say the same thing and I thought to myself "There is no way in the world that I could ever fear not loving a second child as much as I do the first." But I am here to tell you that those fears do come, probably to every second time mom. However, we have a God, Who formed us in His image. An image we will never be able to form with our own human hands. And in His image, He has a love that is so unsearchable and so unending that it is as far as the east is from the west. What ruler can measure that? Not one. But for all our imperfections, God's image is perfect. And He created us in it. So we also have the ability to love like that. We'll never understand it, but why would we want to? To understand it would somehow cheapen it I think. No, I would rather go on loving my babies like my God loves me. Unconditionally and unfathomably without MEASURE. Again and again, as many new additions as He wants me to love I will love them. Bring it on!

I just had to blog about this photo. I found it on my hard drive as I was uploading some new pics. This is a shot of Johnna when she was about 18 mos old. She found a box of cornstarch in the pantry when I wasn't looking and, well, you can see what happened next. Click on it to enlarge and get the full effect of the moment. It's all over her pants and you should see the look on her face!

This is our newest little heart throb,

Lila Kate George

She is the sweetest and easiest baby ever!

We are so in love with her. Gotta love those

gummy little smiles!!

My girls are my life.

This is my oldest charmer, Johnna Quinn.

The girl loves the camera.

She is definitely a mama's girl. Very affectionate. Loves for me to hold her. I love to hold her.

Set the Tone

O.k. so I'm new to this blogging thing. I was always curious, but wondered why anyone would want to read about someone`s normal boring life. Then, I realized, most people`s lives are just like mine. Well, most women with children anyway. And all of us mothers seem to get drained daily and just when we think we can`t go on any longer, we hear a story similar to ours from the mother on the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Somehow, just hearing that someone else goes through the same things as you can give you that second wind. Her days are also filled with noise, endless hours of "busy work" that never ends with a clean house but a mess bigger than when you started. She, like so many other mothers, remembers at 3:00pm that she still has not stopped to brush her teeth and the baby needs changing and her three year old also needs to ''go to the potty''- -though she already did- - in her panties. And after she gets the baby down for a nap and convinces her three year old to play in her room, she finally takes the opportunity to get out of her pajamas and manages to wash her face. After that she is ready to take on the night shift. 3 am feedings, bad dreams, toddler bed wetting and pumping in the wee hours of the morning to keep her breasts from exploding. Hearing these women agree with you and tell you stories of their own cultivates a sort of comraderie between them though they don't even know each other. It's sort of a secret society. Just for mothers. Our poo-poo stories and our breastfeeding nightmares are actually our secret handshake. We share our fears, or failures, and our successes with one another and somehow it gives us the strength we need to pick ourselves back up and keep on truckin`. So, this is why I have decided to blog. If you're not interested, simply find another blogger. But if you are, you're probably a mother, who, like myself, longs for some adult conversation and tips for childrearing- and the laughter that kids add to your life! ! ! So, join me if you're up for it. Nothing like Desperate Housewives, though. The most dramatic or risque` thing you may come across on this blog is a wardrobe malfunction while breastfeeding in public. The lactating breast is nothing to sneeze at, either, mind you. Ah, the smell of Desitin and spit-up in the morning!